Okay! I'm back! I've been on the Emily Johnson version of a mad bender, which involves drinking a lot of herbal tea, debating about class privilege, watching Dirty Dancing while experimenting with ear candles, and engaging in out-of-control purchasing of fabric and yarn. I'm aware that Charles Bukowski has a different definition of "bender," and I'm 100% okay with that.
A few weeks ago, after literally years of delay, procrastination, and unreasonable grumpiness at my parents for continuing to mention the issue, I succeeded in selling my car. Let me just say that if you're thinking of leaving a car in storage for two and a half years in the hopes that the difficulties inherent in fixing it might go away, I strongly advise against the idea. That's what I did, and as it turns out, a car only gets more expensive and troublesome to fix the longer it sits unused in a garage or back yard. Not only that, but during the selling process I had to brave the trial-by-fire that is selling a solid, in-demand used car when one is a young, reasonably attractive woman. Permit me to say: the aggressive, deal-mongering dudes comes out, and they are absolutely incredulous when you tell them - you, a GIRL - that you will not take their offer of half your asking price. No, even though the car has a small dent in one side. No, even if they come over tonight, cash in hand. No, even if they whine, yell, or tax everyone's nerves to the breaking point by pitching a toddler-style hissy fit. They will simply not believe that you want them to take their paltry offers and go boil their inflated heads.
What with the bullies, the over-developed car-related egos, the deceit and the double-dealing, I was a nervous wreck for a week, but I finally sold the car, and the whole transaction ended up making me feel good: it went to another young woman, who very responsibly took it to her mechanic and got a good estimate of how much she'll need to spend on it. She made me a generous offer based on that, and I accepted. What do you know? Respect and human dignity CAN be maintained, even when selling a used car.
Anyway, the sale of the car coincided with my almost-birthday (coming up on Friday) and a trip to the Bay Area to visit my very dear friend Leah...and, frankly, I feel like I got a little out-of-control with the acquisition of new projects, and of just plain stuff. I don't regret a thing, but now I need to take a few deep breaths and get back into the zone of productivity, rather than acquisition. In the meantime, though, you can all enjoy my splurging. These scrumptious treats came in the mail a few days before we caught our plane:
This is my last Sundara shipment for the first Seasons club (y'all can read more about Sundara's fantastic Seasons Club here if you're not already in the know). I have to say, this is some of the most beautiful yarn I have ever touched. Since our return I've been winding it slowly into balls, just to interact with it. Needless to say, given the buy-buy-buy theme of this blog entry, I re-upped for Autumn and added Spring for the upcoming round of Seasons as soon as the check for the car cleared.
Then, well, we were in San Francisco and it feels wrong to pass up a trip to the huge, beautiful edifice that is Britex Fabrics. Since my rediscovery of sewing I've been dreaming of sundresses, and I now have a couple of lovely cottons on which to cast my spells:
But in addition to the cottons, there was an entire wall of beautiful European wools. Wool alone I could have resisted, but many of them were also plaids and hounds-tooth prints, and some were so outrageously luxurious that I felt, amusingly enough, that I was making a reasonable compromise with myself in only getting two yards of this scrumptious stuff. It's funny how our mental calculus adjusts itself around an object of desire:
And...there may have been pattern purchases to go with these new fabrics, as well as a number of investments/orders of yarn to arrive in the near-to-distant future. All of which I'm psyched about - in particular, the Spring and Fall clips from Martha's Vineyard Fiber Farm, whose CSA is just about the best thing ever. Even so, I am feeling a little bit frazzled. I am normally a very methodical, one-project-at-a-time, buy-materials-for-the-project-I'm-about-to-start kind of girl. Right now I have a complex sewing project, a major knitting design project, another, secret-for-now knitting design project, and a whole bunch of new, unformed materials all at the same time. I know this is normal for many people, but certainly not for me. Occasionally, especially when confronted with four floors of gorgeous fabrics, I become dazzled by dreams and infinite possibility. The same thing sometimes happens at Powell's Books, when I stumble into the coffee shop laden with novels sufficient to last a small family several years. I envision myself, somehow divorced from my job and social commitments, with unlimited leisure time in which to do nothing but craft lovely garments and curl up reading in a comfy chair. That kind dreaming, for me, is really fun for about a week, after which I have a deep spiritual need to get my feet back on the ground and start accomplshing things again.
So, that's where I am right now. The transition from heady dreams to tangible results is often a rocky one, because the results - as they are prone to do - materialize more slowly than the wild fancies. It's hard to still the clamorous idea-machine in my head and engage with an actual project, complete with quandaries and quagmires. Still, I'm starting to slow down, breathe, and delight in the gradual process of small details once again.